Robert Fitterman

The New Testament Holes 

(the back nine)

In today's franchised brand character-choked mini
golf industry, it's refreshing to see someone
attempt a relatively unique theme. And what better
brand of recognition than God's own time-tested
characters and stories available for not a dime of
trademark licensing?

Three white crosses loom near the parking lot and
mark the final hole; to get there determined
players putt their way through the hazards and
miracles of the Good Book.

After renting a club and a ball in the gift shop,
eager fans line up at hole #1, The Book Of
Genesis. The first nine holes are inspired the Old
Testament: Adam and Eve's Expulsion from the
Garden, Moses parting the Red Sea, Daniel and the

We're amused that the scenes are comprised of
repurposed lawn ornaments and cement statuettes‹
no priest-folk artist spend his life carvings
here. Jonah sits in a whale's mouth, comfortable
in shorts; a statue of St. Francis monitors
porcelain animal pairs boarding the Ark.

The New Testament holes are sparsely decorated,
looser, at least one featuring elves and men in
lederhosen where an Apostle or leper might have
done the trick.

An uphill challenge past the crosses finishes at
the Lord's ascension up to Heaven.